Temperance and Discipline in HR: The Steady Hand That Guides People Leadership

“Our own worth is measured by what we devote our energy to.” – Marcus Aurelius

This is part 2 of a 4 part series on applying the Cardinal Virtues to our craft as HR professionals, or any professional. To read the introduction, click here, and to read part 1 click here.

I have a hard time NOT eating that last piece of cake or taking one more bite of delicious food when I am already full. I have a rather easy time piecing together my workday, parsing out time spent on projects and focusing on the task that is prioritized most.

Both are examples of discipline, or lack thereof. Some people are focused in all aspects of their lives. Most are focused in some ways but not others. It’s a continuum – a pendulum swinging back and forth from one side to the next. And this meant ot be nonjudgmental. We are all on a continual journey of self-discovery.

Discipline, or temperance, and I will use them interchangeably, is one of the four cardinal virtues in Stoic philosophy and is essential in any leadership role, especially, of course, in HR. Temperance means practicing self-control, moderation, and balance in decision-making, emotions, and actions. In the context of HR, this translates into measured responses to challenging situations, maintaining emotional balance, and promoting a fair and consistent approach to organizational policies. Discipline helps HR professionals stay aligned with core values and ethics, ensuring that their decisions promote long-term success over short-term gains.

While courage might compel us to act in the face of adversity, temperance guides how we act, ensuring our actions are just, thoughtful, and fair. For HR professionals, this virtue manifests in leading with consistency, fairness, and self-discipline, especially when it comes to decision-making and maintaining workplace effectiveness.

The Role of Temperance in HR

Aristotle famously spoke of courage in terms of a “Golden Mean.” Too little courage and we’re cowards. Too much and we’re reckless.

Discipline is similar. Too little and we become gluttonous. Too much and we’re joylessly Spartan. We should strive for the Golden Mean of moderation: Nothing in excess. The right thing in the right amount in the right way. We need discipline to get there.

For HR professionals, temperance means:

• Managing Emotions: Staying calm and collected, even in high-stress or emotionally charged situations. This includes managing both your own emotions and helping others navigate theirs.
• Ensuring Fairness: Practicing consistency in applying policies and making decisions to avoid favoritism or bias.
• Balancing Business Needs with People Needs: Finding a fair balance between organizational objectives and employee well-being.

Temperance can appear in many aspects of our work as HR professionals, from how we handle difficult employee relations to how we manage performance. It can and should appear even in mundane tasks, such as how we sort our emails and manage our offer clutter. Below are some real-world examples of how temperance plays out in HR, highlighting the importance of moderation and balance in our decision-making.

Example 1: Handling Emotional Conflict Between Employees

Conflict between employees is a common occurrence in every office or workspace, and HR professionals are often pulled into the fray. As difficult as this may sound to my HR colleagues reading this, imagine a situation where two employees have an emotional confrontation, and both come to HR to “fix” the problem. One person is highly emotional and angry, demanding immediate punitive action, while the other is defensive and blames external circumstances for the issue.

As an HR professional, temperance guides you to not react impulsively or let the emotion of the situation drive your decision-making. Instead, you listen carefully to both sides, separate emotion from fact, and ensure that whatever action is taken aligns with organizational policy, values, and culture and is fair to all parties involved. While emotions run high, temperance allows you to stay level-headed, ensuring that you are not swayed by one side’s emotional intensity but make a thoughtful, well-considered decision. I like to think of this as constructive detachment.

In my experience, I handle these situations all the time. Once, two employees had a heated argument that nearly escalated to a physical altercation. Both felt justified in their actions, but after gathering information, I realized that a miscommunication was the root cause. Rather than recommending discipline based on emotion, I facilitated a meeting between the employees, guiding them to resolve their differences through dialogue. This approach led to reconciliation and strengthened their working relationship, showcasing how temperance can defuse a volatile situation and result in positive outcomes. This isn’t to suggest we didn’t address or discipline the potential workplace violence, which is what going to blows would have been. We worked it out to ensure they understood this was unacceptable, and crafted an environment where going to blows, so to speak, wouldn’t have been a future reaction.

Example 2: Handling Emotional Conflict Between Employees When It’s YOU

When faced with difficult situations such as implementing layoffs or budget cuts, HR professionals should remember that discipline in these situations means staying focused on the long-term health of the organization while considering the well-being of affected employees. It’s tempting to try and “soften the blow” by making promises or providing overly optimistic reassurances, but temperance means being realistic, clear, and consistent in how you communicate and execute such decisions.

Temperance also means keeping your cool when the employees on the other end of these situations don’t take the news so well.

During an organizational restructuring in a previous organization, I found myself responsible for delivering the news of a position elimination to a notoriously crusty employee. These situations are never easy, but I had to figure out a way to handle a potentially explosive situation tactfully. As predicted, he didn’t take the news well. He stormed out of the office and went back to his workstation. I followed to ensure nothing major occurred. He began taunting me as I stood back watching him pack up his belongings. I whipped his work key at me, which thankfully missed me. I wasn’t able to find it during the commotion, unfortunately. He then got in my face and asked if I wanted to fight despite me standing away form him saying and doing nothing! I calmly said this is not the way to go about this, and if he doesn’t leave immediately, I was going to have to call the police. He kept calling me names and refused to leave. I calmly told him, “I don’t want to do this, but you’re forcing my hand.” I turned around and went to call the police. When I came back a few moments later, he was gone, thankfully.

Looking back on it, I should have been scared, but I don’t recall being so. I think temperance guided me to approach the situation systematically. I feel I acted judiciously in helping keep his ire drawn on me, and not others in the office. By not sinking down to his level and keeping my emotions in check, I was able to manage the situation with calm resolve and end it without further incident.

Example 3: The Discipline of Consistent Leadership

Leaders are often held to a higher standard, understandably and reasonably so, but often without grace. Antisthenes was a Greek philosopher and a student of Socrates. He is often quoted as saying: “A king’s role is to act well and never be spoken well of in return.”

Heavy is the head that wears the crown. HR professionals are not exempt from this and are likely more criticized for their actions than other leaders. Therefore, we must demonstrate strict consistency in our leadership behavior. Temperance in this context refers to maintaining discipline in decision-making, enforcing policies equitably, and not bending rules for certain employees or situations, even when pressured by senior management or personal relationships.

In one instance, a high-performing employee who was well-liked by leadership repeatedly violated the organization’s attendance policy. There was significant pressure to overlook these infractions because of the employee’s valuable contributions. However, temperance dictated that I handle the situation with the same consistency as any other case. I communicated with the employee about their violations and enforced the same disciplinary action as outlined in our policy, despite the pushback. This not only reinforced fairness in the organization but also upheld the integrity of the HR function, demonstrating that policies apply to everyone. We have to remember that it takes discipline to do the right thing, especially when it goes against popular opinion or pressure from leaders to do the opposite.

“The truth is what you do matters. What you do today matters. What you do every day matters.” – Jeff Olsen, from The Slight Edge

Practical Tips for Building Temperance in HR

Temperance is a quality that can be developed over time with intentional practice. HR professionals can foster temperance by focusing on consistent, balanced decision-making and practicing emotional regulation. Here are some tips for building and applying temperance in your work:

• Pause Before Reacting: When faced with an emotional situation or difficult decision, take a moment to pause and reflect before reacting. This helps you to separate emotion from reason and make a more balanced decision. Remember to respond instead of reacting.
• Create Consistent Policies: Ensure that your organization’s policies are clear, consistent, and applied equitably to everyone. Temperance means not bending the rules for certain individuals or situations, no matter how tempting it may be. Remember, consistency is better than fairness, in the grand scheme of things. Fairness is in the eye of the beholder. What’s fair to one is not so to another. Consistency, however, cannot be as easily refuted.
• Maintain Emotional Boundaries: HR professionals are often emotional support for others, but it’s essential to maintain your own emotional boundaries. Practice self-care and mindfulness to keep your emotions in check, especially during high-stress situations. As uncomfortable as it might be, we need a healthy detachment to ensure we maintain perspective. It doesn’t mean we don’t empathize. It means we don’t become the issues or emotions of others.
• Balance Business and Employee Needs: Practice moderation by balancing the organization’s goals with the well-being of employees. Temperance ensures that decisions are neither overly harsh nor overly lenient, striking a fair middle ground. Remember the idea of Sympatheia – all the universe is mutually woven together and has an affinity for one another. As Marcus Aurelius writes: “You’ve been made by nature for the purpose of working with others.” Business and employee need one another, so meet in the middle where both prosper.
• Stay Firm but Compassionate: Temperance is about discipline, but it doesn’t mean being cold or rigid. You can remain firm in your decisions while still showing compassion and empathy for those affected. In fact, compassion is necessary for our work! Again, Aurelius reminds himself: “Human beings have been made for the sake of one another. Teach them or endure them.” Be there for one another. It’s why we’re here and why we’ve made it as far as we have.

The Link Between Temperance and Justice

In Stoic philosophy, temperance is closely tied to justice. Temperance ensures that justice is applied honestly and without bias, even when emotions or external pressures threaten to sway the outcome. In HR, temperance allows us to uphold the principles of reasonableness, equity, and consistency across the organization. It prevents us from making rash decisions or reacting emotionally, ensuring that every action we take is measured, consistent, and just.

Example 4: Ensuring Appropriateness in Promotions

Temperance is particularly important when it comes to promotions, which can be a powder keg of emotion if not handled well. In one organization I worked with, there was a talented employee who had made significant contributions to the team. However, there were also several others who had performed consistently well but without the same visibility. While leadership was eager to promote the standout employee, I knew that it was essential to apply the same promotion criteria to everyone to avoid favoritism, perceived or otherwise.

I tempered the excitement of leadership by gathering data on all potential candidates and ensuring that the promotion decision was based on measurable performance and qualifications rather than visibility or likability. This disciplined approach ensured that promotions were handled fairly, which bolstered morale and trust in the organization. It might have slowed down the process, but that’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes, as the cliché goes, we need to go slow to go fast.

Finding the Key

In HR, temperance and discipline are vital to building trust, consistency, and fairness within an organization. They allow us to stay calm in emotionally charged situations, maintain a balance between business and employee needs, and ensure that our decisions align with both organizational values and objectivity. Temperance may not always be the easiest virtue to practice, but it is essential for creating a stable, just, and productive workplace.

By cultivating temperance, HR professionals can lead with integrity, ensuring that their actions are not only courageous but also measured, thoughtful, and fair.

Oh, and remember that key the angry employee whipped at me? He missed hitting me, and I never found it. But the employee’s replacement did after cleaning the office one day. He remembered the story I told him and gave it to me. I still have it framed to this day with the following saying:

“The best revenge is to not be like your enemy.” – Marcus Aurelius

It takes a lot of discipline to rise above. We don’t need to let the world, or the behavior of other people, change who we are. That is the ultimate in temperance.

When you’re cultivating a calm discipline in your life, remember:

• Temperance in HR means practicing emotional regulation, consistency, and balance: It helps HR professionals stay level-headed in difficult situations.
• Handling conflict requires temperance: By managing emotions, HR can facilitate resolutions without letting emotions cloud judgment.
• Discipline in leadership ensures fairness: Consistently applying policies builds trust and integrity in the organization.
• Balancing business and people needs: Temperance guides HR to make decisions that are fair to both the organization and employees.
• Temperance supports justice: Fairness in promotions, performance reviews, and disciplinary actions requires a disciplined, unbiased approach.

“The rarest of all human qualities is consistency.” – Jeremy Bentham

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