Comma Splices, LSD, and Being an Influencer: The Writing Journey of a #SHRM19Blogger

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” — Ernest Hemingway

person holding white paper and typewriter

My love of writing grew from Mr. Kuhn’s College Compensation class my senior year in high school. The class was meant to prepare students for college level writing. To say Mr. Kuhn was eccentric is an understatement.  He would always flail his hands about like Popeye’s Olive Oil in trouble when trying to make his point.

He had a slight lisp that he purposefully played up when he got fired up. “NO! This isn’t how you use a comma!!! Repeat with me, ‘duh duh duh, COMMA SPLICE, duh duh duh!!!'” (He’d chop his hand like Bruce Lee when he yelled “comma splice” to make his point more pronounced.)

Also, he lived in Chicago and commuted to the suburbs every day to teach always telling us, “I’m on LSD twice a day! Yes, I’m a little nuts!” At the time, I didn’t know LSD meant Lake Shore Drive, so I naively thought we were being taught by a drug addict! But that’s besides the point!

The best papers were always marked with a red “FIRST CLASS” stamp on top to showcase how awesome the writing was. My inner competition meter kicked in – I SOOOO wanted a red First Class stamp!!!

My first paper I got a B minus, which didn’t enthrall me. I followed up that B minus with a C plus and a C minus. I felt frustrated, so I went to Mr. Kuhn and asked how I could get better. He was goofy, yes, but he cared about his students. He wanted them to get better — otherwise, why was here there!? After some coaching, it finally clicked with me.

My next paper was a B plus, followed by an A minus. Still not First Class, so I kicked my style into high gear! The final two papers were an A and an A plus/plus — both First Class papers!

I felt so on top of the world for something so relatively minor. That’s the power of an influencer, and Mr. Kuhn was an influencer.

Fast forward 17 years to last week. I was asked to join the #SHRM19Blogger team. I was completely floored to be considered for such an amazing program!

According to a post about the #SHRM18Blogger team:

These highly talented HR professionals are not only “social influencers” who can reach a huge global audience, they are people with a passion for learning, sharing and networking.  HR practitioners, consultants, educators and business owners, the #SHRM18 bloggers will be heavily engaged with attendees from start to finish, while virtually connecting millions of HR professionals from around the world.

Not unironically, or maybe a little bit so, this blogging journey of mine began at #SHRM18 in Chicago when I randomly met several amazing #SHRM18Bloggers, many of whom I have stayed in contact with and consider friends.

I was very inspired by their work as bloggers and as people. Their work pushed me to finally break down my own self-imposed barriers and begin sharing my own writing. Again, this is the power of true influencers, and the #SHRM18Blogger team was full of influencers.

I’ve never considered myself to be a “social influencer” or just a regular influencer. I’m just Paul. All I want to do is share stories and make connections. If doing so means something to at least one other person, then that works for me.

Writing is something I am very passionate about and coupling that with my passion for human resource theory, practice, philosophy, and management has been an incredible journey so far. I wouldn’t have been able to start if it weren’t for an eccentric high school teacher who taught me the importance of knowing that a common splice is bad and LSD is bad, too, mkay.

Thank you to SHRM for allowing me this opportunity. Thank you to the #SHRM18Blogger team for inspiring me last year. Thank you to the #SHRM19Blogger team for doing what you do! I cannot wait to meet you in Las Vegas!

#HRMixTape2019 – Metallica Edition \m/

“Music is the soundtrack to my life.” – James Hetfield, Metallica guitarist and vocals

17903373_809341332557892_8581062742834693794_n

Earlier this week, I took Steve Browne’s challenge to write a blogpost that centered on an #HRMixedTape2019 – HR Edition! My “mixed tape” of songs was a nod to my heavy metal roots! I named some of my favorite heavy metal anthems I thought described HR situations.

I made it a point to showcase my love of Metallica in the article. While I am a metalhead through and through, all my musical appreciation begins and ends with the Bay Area thrashers. Well, after reading the article, my friend Jeff Palkowski told me he enjoyed it and was waiting for me to write an all Metallica edition. I thought he was kidding, but he insisted he was looking forward to knowing which Metallica songs best described the HR profession!

Jeff challenged me to write a post about Metallica AND human resources – two things I am extremely dedicated to and passionate about?!?! Come on! I couldn’t pass up this challenge one bit. So, here is my #HRMixTape2019 – Metallica Edition, dedicated to my friend, Jeff, but also dedicated to James Hetfield. If Lemmy Kilmeister is God, then James is at least, I don’t know, Thor.

“Whiplash” – Kill Em All (1983)

I start this out with the thrash masterpiece, “Whiplash.” A song about the rough touring life of an upstart metal band made me think of the tough life of an HR professional!

The show is through, the metal’s gone
It’s time to hit the road
Another town, another gig
Again we will explode
Hotel rooms and motorways
Life out here is raw
We’ll never stop, we’ll never quit
Cause we’re Metallica

It’s no secret to HR practitioners that the profession is a tough gig. That’s not to downplay other jobs that are difficult. ALL professions have their challenges. However, HR has an advantage. Like a band that can find connectiveness and bonding in what they do, so can we as HR professionals. I cannot write enough about how networking and reaching out to other HR pros has helped lift me through some tough times. Don’t let the “whiplash” of the profession make you lose your passion for it. It’s a back and forth, but let the better times lead your headbanging ways!

 “Fade to Black” – Ride the Lightning (1984)

When it first came out, “Fade to Black” was divisive in the metal community. How dare Metallica write a ballad!!! That’s not heavy! That’s not thrash! Well, the song isn’t “thrash” per se, but it deals with a heavy topic – suicide.

Things not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly loss, this can’t be real
I cannot stand this hell I feel

Emptiness is filling me

To the point of agony
Growing darkness, taking dawn
I was me, but now he’s gone

Hetfield’s lyrics are eerily beautiful. It should come as no surprise that there is a mental health crisis in the United States (and throughout many places in the world). I’ve written about the crisis and how it affects the workplace here and here. It is my firm believe that HR MUST be involved in helping create work environments that promote mental health and wellbeing. Thankfully, I’m not alone in this belief. It’s not just the ethical thing to do. It’s good for business. Much like Metallica not holding themselves to the standards of others, HR shouldn’t hold themselves to the standards of those who do not commit to mental wellbeing.

“Master of Puppets” – Master of Puppets (1986)

 Often considered Metallica’s magnum opus, Master of Puppets is full of amazing songs. The title track reminds me of one of HR’s Achilles’ heels: Policies!

Master of puppets, I’m pulling your strings
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can’t see a thing
Just call my name, ’cause I’ll hear you scream
Master
Master
Just call my name, ’cause I’ll hear you scream
Master
Master

Polices are necessary. They help HR and organizations maintain consistency, offer guidelines for resolving conflicts, and assist in providing order. However, sometimes HR pros default to policy for everything. This creates an unnecessary barrier between HR and the employee. When we constantly rely on following policy to the letter of the law, we become stiflingly bureaucratic and robotic. We risk losing our humanity, and thus, losing our ability to stay in touch with the humans we are charged with being a resource to. We risk becoming a puppet to the policies master. A better way is using policies as guidelines to help us reach logical, reasonable solutions.

“Sad But True” – Metallica, aka The Black Album (1991)

The album that turned Metallica into a worldwide sensation comparable to the Beatles, or dare I say, Michael Jackson. The Black Album (as it became known as) sold 17 million copies in the USA alone, and still regularly sells 1,000s of copies per week. “Sad But True” is a song about duel lives and how it takes a toll on someone.

You (you)
You’re my mask
You’re my cover, my shelter
You (you)
You’re my mask
You’re the one who’s blamed
Do (do)
Do my work
Do my dirty work, scapegoat
Do (do)
Do my deeds
For you’re the one who’s shamed

A lot has been written about brining your whole, authentic self to work. It’s a topic worth discussing. How many HR pros have two selves – work-self and home-self? I bet more than you’d expect! People put on masks as a defense mechanism. Wearing a mask at work gives us the false impression that we’re protected and safe from people’s judging eyes. What really happens, however, is the mask causes suffering. We end up losing a portion of who we really are and have to keep up the charade. Ultimately, being yourself is far less stressful and more fulfilling. Be you. Be proud. Be happy.

 

“Fuel” – Reload (1997)

 The mid- to late-90s were a controversial time in Metallica’s career. They found themselves experimenting with their sound, which transitioned from a thrashy hardcore vibration to a bluesy hard rock sound. One of the best songs from this era is “Fuel.” It’s an adrenaline shot of hard rock riffage!

Gimme fuel
Gimme fire
Gimme that which I desire

What do you desire as an HR professional? What’s fuels your passion for HR? Is it diversity and inclusion? Is it recruiting? Is it podcasting? Whatever your desire, whatever your fuel, make sure it provides you with the positive vibes you need to keep going full steam ahead! Whatever you do, make sure your HR passion grows so you can provide relevant and impactful transactions in the workplace. Whatever that means to you, make sure you keep your fuel burning hard, loose, and clean!

 HIDDEN TRACK!

“Spit Out the Bone” – Hardwired… to Self-Destruct (2016)

Hardwired… to Self-Destruct sees Metallica returning to their thrash roots! The best track on the record, in the opinion of many, is “Spit Out the Bone,” which is about machines taking over the world, not unlike Terminator! In the context of the workplace, that scenario sounds vaguely familiar.

Long live machine
The future supreme
Man overthrown
Spit out the bone

Artificial intelligence is a topic that’s on a lot of HR professionals’ minds. I’m not a luddite. Mankind has prospered due to our ingenuity and resourcefulness. Technology, whether a stone wheel or a robot, is part of that story. But we must remember that change, especially change that alters the economic dynamics of how people make a living, must be handled delicately. It’s too early to know where this is going, but let’s hope it doesn’t end with machines ruling over us!

#HRMixedTape2019 – Heavy Metal Edition! \m/

devilhorns1

“Without music, life would be a mistake.”Friedrich Nietzsche

Since the age of 12, and likely even earlier, I have been a music lover, more specifically, a diehard metalhead. I love fast, heavy, aggressive, and thought-provoking music. I love the “chug chug chug” of a great riff. I love the artistry of a great solo. I love the fantasy imagery that the lyrics project.

Like many teenage metalheads, I had a bit of a superiority complex regarding my music, but as I grew older, I came to appreciate other music, too. For instance, I really like Electronic Dance Music (even though I can’t dance to save my life). In my heart, however, I remain a diehard fan of all things heavy metal.

This week, Steve Browne wrote a new blogpost called #HRMixedTape2019 – HR Edition! In it, he challenges HR bloggers to post a “mixed tape” of songs that connect to HR concepts. I thought this was an awesome challenge, so I accepted! Plus, writing about heavy metal AND HR really excites me! So, here’s my #HRMixedTape2019 – Heavy Metal Edition! \m/

Black Sabbath – “Black Sabbath”

Any heavy metal list MUST begin with Black Sabbath. Without them, the entire genre wouldn’t exist. So, I chose this song to satirize how HR is sometimes seen as the devil!

What is this that stands before me?
Figure in black which points at me
Turn around quick, and start to run
Find out I’m the chosen one
Oh no!

Many HR pros have likely been there! “Shhhh, HR is coming!” Looked at as an evil force that is out to get employees rather than someone that’s an employee resource! It’s a tired story, but one HR pros must keep rewriting by showing employees we can be a positive influence for and with them!

Exmortus – “Moonlight Sonata”

Exmortus are Californian power thrashers, who have some incredible guitar picking chops! I chose this song because it symbolizes to me the seemingly hidden value HR has to offer the world. Such is Exmortus when taking a beautiful Beethoven classic and adding some metal edge. It comes off so masterful! It’s is akin to HR showing up and demonstrating why high employee engagement is great for the bottom line, but doing it while headbanging!

Iron Maiden – “The Trooper”

Who doesn’t love guitar harmonies!?!?! Two guitars strumming the same riff at the same time enhancing the power from the epic hook! Few metal bands perfected the guitar harmony better than Iron Maiden. So, much like a great guitar harmony, HR colleagues can create amazing music together when they support one another. We know that HR professionals have a difficult job to do, and we must be troopers and stick together! Many of us live this every day by connecting via social media (#HRTribe, #HRPeeps) and in real life (shout out to my peeps in the #StateLineCrew in IL/WI!) Forming bonds is essential for HR pros to develop in the profession.

Dio – “Holy Diver”

Not all metal is gloom, doom, war, and evil! Sometimes, it’s pretty damn fun – full of exciting fantasy worlds where dragons roam the sky, knights save villages from trolls, and princesses save their kings from magic spells! Almost no one was better melding fantasy worlds with metal than the late, great Ronnie James Dio (also in Rainbow and Black Sabbath for a period). His voice is legendary! Many HR professionals know to have fun, too! It’s not all policies, PIPs, and performance reviews! Offices full of lava lamps, Magic 8 Balls, Funko Pops, toys, and many other awesome items create an atmosphere that relaxes people and invites them to come in and join the fun.

Metallica – “One”

I am biased. Metallica is my favorite band. Like, not just favorite – I am borderline obsessed with Metallica! So, it was tough to choose one song to put in this post! (See what I did there?) I decided to post “One” as a shout out to HR Departments of One! Often left to do it all themselves, HR Departments of One likely feel paralyzed at times, unable to move forward – trapped by a world that doesn’t give them much help! OK, that’s a bit dramatic, but still. HR Departments of One, you rock! Also, the double bass drumming in “One” is just so sweet!

Rammstein – “Ich Will”

I took German in high school and fell in love with the language, the culture, the food, the beer! 😊 Naturally, I gravitated towards the industrial metalers, Rammstein. With their huge stage theatrics and controversial lyrics and themes, it was a young rebel’s dream band! Why did I choose “Ich Will” (I Want). Well, the lyrics are an interplay between the band and the crowd talking (if you will) back and forth navigating a world of understanding and misunderstanding. It seems to me this describes HR’s challenge communicating with employers and employees! Sometimes, HR pros are great at creating an understanding, open environment. Other times, not so much! At least Rammstein creates a more entertaining medium to work with misunderstanding situations!

Slayer – “Seasons in the Abyss”

Oh Slayer. How many concerts have I been to where some random person yells “Slllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyerrrrrrrr!” for no reason? Does every single one count? Well, no metal list could be considered whole without a nod to the thrash titans! They’re controversial. They’re talented. They’re legendary. Seems like HR and Slayer have a lot in common. If anything, “Seasons in the Abyss” is a GREAT name for some of the situations HR finds themselves in! Raise your hand if a manager asks you how to discipline an employee, yet he or she has no documentation…. Feels a lot like the following lyrics:

Close your eyes
And forget your name
Step outside yourself
And let your thoughts drain
As you go insane, insane

Killswitch Engage – Rise Inside

Killswitch Engage is my second favorite band. They’ve helped me through some very difficult times in my life, as well as been there for me when things have been great. I’m ending with this band and song to showcase an important point. We all must watch our biases, unconscious or otherwise.

“With a name like Killswitch Engage, they must be violent, hate filled people!”

(Unfortunately, this is actually a common comment I hear all the time about my beloved music genre).

Well, not in the least! The band members in KSE are incredibly kind, positive people. The band has written songs about women overcoming abusive relationships, individuals fighting through mental illness and depression, and groups working to overcome hate with love. At the same time, they don’t take themselves too seriously. They’re FUN as all get out – after all, they covered Dio’s “Holy Diver,” which is a fun song! (Go watch the video if you don’t believe me).

I chose “Rise Inside” because it’s their call to action – a call to putting aside all the petty differences that keep us separate. It’s a call to finding common ground to stamp out hate with love and understanding. It’s aspirational, yes, but isn’t that what HR is all about at the end of the day? When done right, HR brings people together.

Hidden Track! Led Zeppelin – “Immigrant Song” (Metal Cover)

 Hidden tracks are awesome! So, I chose a metal cover of the Zeppelin classic, “Immigrant Song.” The original is better, yes, but I needed to stick with the theme! Much like the Viking explorers Robert Plant sings about, HR needs to be fearless as we chart new waters and face challenges never before seen — AI, anyone? Doing things the same old way isn’t an option. Like the Vikings, HR professionals must adapt and overcome as we explore the new worlds in front of us!

Be a Seal Lion: HR Can Help Others Swim

 

two sea lions in ocean at daytime
Be a seal lion to someone who can’t swim.

“In conversation, one should attend closely to what is being said, and with regard to every impulse attend to what arises from it; in the latter case, to see from the first what end it has in view, and in the former, to keep careful watch on what people are meaning to say.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

Last week, I wrote a blogpost entitled “Just Keep Swimming.” It was my way to encourage others to keep moving forward when life breaks them.

Sometimes, however, the waves or currents of life become way too much for people that swimming becomes impossible. What happens when someone can’t swim?

Kevin Hines is a motivational speaker, author, and mental health advocate. His story can be found here. After jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge in an attempt on his own life, he survived with the aid of a sea lion, who helped him stay afloat until the Coast Guard pulled him out of the water. He adopted the sea lion as his emblem for his work in suicide prevention and mental health advocacy with the motto #BeHereTomorrow.

There is a mental health crisis in the United States. The crisis costs employers billions in lost productivity yearly. And worse, it costs families, friends, and colleagues much suffering and heartache.

Unofficially, the llama is sometimes used as the spirit animal for HR. I think the profession can have multiple spirit animals. HR can be like Batman – a symbol that is malleable to whatever the situation needs at that moment in time (via The Dark Knight).

Like the sea lion that helped Kevin stay afloat, HR should assist employees through the unnavigable tides and currents of their suffering. HR should be advocates for policies that promote mental health and wellbeing in the workplace. I believe this because it’s the right thing to do. It’s the compassionate thing to do. Some C-Suite leaders have to be persuaded through the raw numbers, and that’s OK. The business case is also evident.

Mental health solutions in the workplace is still a difficult discussion, which is why many would rather talk retention rates, turnover rate, employee engagement, payrates, bottom lines, recruiting challenges, the skills gap, and so on.

However, ALL those topics are affected by the mental health of employees. Healthy employees lead to a healthy workplace. Take care of employees, and the rest takes care of itself.

In addition to advocating for workplace policies that support mental health, what can HR do on a more basic level? Several small ideas include:

Being Present. Leave the office and go visit with people. Notice the details. If someone is acting out of their normal habits, make it a point to say hi and ask them how their day is going. Actively being present in their day can (and often does) let employees know someone is there and someone notices them. That simple act can be all the difference.

“I was walking up to the bus driver hoping he would see my pain, but I couldn’t say it overtly. I could not tell him look at me and say ‘hey, kid, are you OK? Is something wrong, can I help you?’” – Kevin Hines discussing his thoughts before he attempted suicide.

Listening. Active listening is a tremendous skill. It’s one that every HR professional should develop, and it’s increasingly crucial in helping others who may be suffering. To actively listen means to be fully present so that you can “hear” or “see” things that are actually being said. Often times, someone with a mental health issue will say “I’m fine, it’s just a headache.” Or they may say, “I’m tired. All good.” These seemingly innocuous statements are often said to hide someone’s pain, or subtle cries for help. Active listening can help people notice something deeper. In addition, listening is just that and mostly only that! Listening is more powerful than speaking. Often, speaking is doing too much. Let the person explain. Let the person talk. Being there and hearing what they have to say is worth more than any hollow advice they weren’t asking for in the first place.

“You listen not for the purpose of judging, criticizing or analyzing. You listen only to help the other person to express himself and find some relief from his suffering.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

Knowing What You Don’t Know. One of the many “jobs” HR professionals have is psychiatrist. I’ve joked with many about this, but the truth is, HR pros (more than likely) have no professional training in diagnosing or directly aiding people with mental health issues. And that’s not HR’s job. HR’s job in this context is to be of assistance to the employee. The best thing to do is to listen, offer support by asking what they may need. On a related note, hopefully everyone has access to an EAP – if not, you can help the employee find a mental health professional in the area if they wish.

“If a man knows not which port he sails, no wind is favorable.” – Seneca

Being Unafraid to Have Difficult Conversations. One of the most important things anyone can do in any context regarding mental health is opening themselves up to the conversation. People are afraid to discuss these topics for many reasons. “Will I lose that big promotion at work if I discuss my depression?” “Will I be ostracized at work if I discuss my anxiety issues?” So the stigma makes people bottle it up deep inside where the emotions fester and grow into something more dangerous. A key part of removing the stigma surrounding mental health is to allow open conversations to be had in a safe space without judgement.

“One good conversation can shift the direction of change forever.” – Linda Lambert

HR can be and should be a powerful advocate in addressing the mental health crisis that cripples the workplace. Overall, HR can’t solve the problems others are afflicted with. We don’t have to, though. At minimum, we just need to be kind, empathetic, and present. We just need to be available to help them stay afloat until additional help arrives. We can help someone keep swimming when they don’t know how. We can be someone’s sea lion.

For more information and ideas on how HR can be advocates for mental health workplace policies and programs, some articles can be found here, here, here, and here.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

If you or someone you know is in need of help, please know there are millions of others who have gone through or are going through similar challenges. They understand. They feel it, too. Getting help is not a sign of weakness. Getting help is a sign of power. Keep swimming for yourself and for others in your life. Just keep swimming. I got the following information from the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline website: suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. 1-800-273-8255.

Just Keep Swimming

“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places.”  – Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

clownfish under water

When Finding Nemo first came out, I liked the sweet movie about a father doing all he could to find his lost son. Now, as a father myself, I appreciate it on a different level. My son likes the movie a lot—as many toddlers do. We had watched it not that long ago, and he really liked the goofy fish, Dory – voiced superbly by the amazing Ellen DeGeneres.

In the movie, Dory is a seemingly aloof blue tang fish with a short-term memory. She serves as the comic foil to the grumpy clownfish, Marlin, voiced by the equally suburb Albert Brooks. Throughout their adventure, Dory keeps trying to cheer Marlin up, who hasn’t been happy in years. No matter what Dory does, she annoys Marlin.

My son and I were watching, and he was laughing and I was smiling when Dory sang her famous line. No, not “I will name him Squishy” — although that was a pretty good line. The line that pretty much sums up what I believe to be the theme of the movie.

“Just keep swimming.”

It’s such a succinct, beautiful way to describe perseverance.

Perseverance is a remarkable skill, but a hard skill to learn and to master because to learn it, we must be broken. At some point, life will break us all, sometimes it will break us over and over again. However, that’s how we learn perseverance. If people are never broken, how can they learn to put themselves back together?

There’s a Japanese art form called Kintsugi. When a cup or a plate is broken, rather than throw it away, the item is glued back together and dusted with gold creating a beautiful sparkling seam. The item was clearly broken, but now it’s stronger than before, as well as more beautiful. The art of Kintsugi acknowledges that we can’t separate the broken pieces from our history. Whatever we faced in life, and overcame, is now a part of us. We are stronger at the broken places. It’s important to remember this — always.

I understand the irony of using a Hemingway quote to begin a post about becoming stronger when the world breaks us, but I did it intentionally. While Hemingway lost his final battle when the world broke him for the last time, we need to remember to never allow ourselves to get to that point.

At the end of Finding Nemo, Marlin and Dory kept swimming. Through it all, they kept swimming. Both Marlin and Dory had moments where they were tempted to stop swimming. Yet, they ultimately decided to keep it up, and they found Nemo.

Perseverance is will. It’s a matter of endurance – nothing will stop us, not even ourselves! All the great philosophical and literary quotes on perseverance can be incredibly challenging to keep in mind when the world is in the middle of tearing us apart. That’s why I feel Dory’s line matters. It’s simple. It’s powerful. It’s inspirational. It’s truth.

When life is breaking you, just keep swimming. Your Nemo is counting on it.


If you or someone you know is in need of help, please know there are millions of others who have gone through or are going through similar challenges. They understand. They feel it, too. Getting help is not a sign of weakness. Getting help is a sign of power. Keep swimming for yourself and for others in your life. Just keep swimming. I got the following information from the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline website: suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

The Company We Keep: Live On Purpose

“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.” – Epictetus

img_3066.jpg
Selfie with Steve Browne at #SHRM18. This photo is symbolic of my transformative experience at the Conference. It’s a journey I’ve been on since! #HROnPurpose #LiveOnPurpose

Having introverted tendencies can be a challenge. You know you need to go out and fulfill certain obligations, but it’s so tiring! Ugh, if only I could stay home with my books and music and Game of Thrones.

But alas, even introverts need human contact! It’s what makes us human. It’s what KEEPS us human! And this is a good thing, of course. Personally and professionally, we all have those people in our lives that help us find our internal strength, courage, and energy. Those people are the ones we should focus our time on. This blog post will blur the lines between professional and personal – because life is blurry.

Plenty has been written about introverts and their goofiness. (Same goes for you extroverts and ambiverts). And plenty has been written about how we need people in our lives to help us through the good times, bad times, and every time in between – especially in an HR context where the battles we face seem never ending.

This post is about those themes, but my focus is more about sharing a quick personal story rather than a profound list that helps introverts (or others) win friends and conquer enemies.

It was June 2018. I was at the SHRM National Conference in Chicago. As my first national conference of any kind, I was quite blow away! The magnitude could have been stifling. Amazingly, 20,000 people attended the conference – all of them in the McCormick Place conference halls. 20,000 people is more than the total population of a lot of cities and villages.

Upon arriving to Chicago, I checked into my hotel and immediately felt determined to make the most of this experience. I connected with some people I “knew” on Twitter and met them at a nearby restaurant. This was so out of my normal comfort zone! I sometimes have a hard time speaking to people I know, and here I was going to meet people I wasn’t even sure existed in real life! I mean, at least half my Twitter followers are bots…. 😊

Upon meeting these amazing people out and about (yes, they were real peeps), I immediately gained confidence and felt a desire I never felt before. I was going to try to meet as many new people as I could, even if it meant, GASP!, walking up to them and introducing myself.

This experience of getting out of my comfort zone culminated with a personal goal I had since I first registered for SHRM 2018. At the time, I had read “HR On Purpose” by Steve Browne of LaRosa’s Pizza fame. The book, if you haven’t read it, please do, really helped me reexamine my own outlook on HR management, and life in general, really. So, I wanted to meet Steve. Thankfully, he was booked to give several presentations at SHRM 2018, and if I attended them, I had a chance to meet someone who was a major influence on my professional development!

So, I went to his first presentation a little early – probably way earlier than I needed because I was one of four people in this giant hall. But I wasn’t going to miss this opportunity.

I was waiting patiently when I saw him, well heard him, coming – a giant man with a booming voice and a bright tie dye shirt was yelling as he walked down the hall that he couldn’t wait for us all to get “geeked;” he had an infectious laugh while yelling at us.

It was intimidating! I felt nervous and almost backed out… How could I just go up to this man unannounced? He’s busy! I’m not important enough. He’s got other things to do.

Nonsense, I told myself! Stop that Old Paul. The New Paul cares not for your excuses! I felt that desire and determination again! I wasn’t going to let my emotions control what I wanted to do.

I got up and walked right up to Steve to introduce myself. Steve smiled and said he was happy to have met me in real life – he remembered us interacting on social media! I was humbled that this giant in the industry remembered me! I told him that his book was a game changer for me, and I thanked him for writing it. He thanked me, and I then spontaneously asked if I could take a selfie with him. “Of course!” he said. I took the selfie, and he said come see him after the presentation! I did, along with a ton of other new people I got to meet in line, and he signed my copy of “HR On Purpose.”

This was transformative for me. SHRM 2018 was the beginning of me challenging my internal struggle to make meaningful connections simply because I was afraid to approach people I didn’t know. I let myself be vulnerable enough to make new connections. And I was lucky because the people I met were more than willing to help me, they were active participants in my transformation, whether they knew it or not!

Since then, I have kept in contact with many of these #HRPeeps. Some of us have even formed the affectionately named #StateLineCrew – a group of IL and WI HR pros (and more importantly, friends) who meet once every other month or so on the IL-WI state border. We meet, talk, laugh, and grow. I have confidence enough to say we’ve become pretty good friends, not just colleagues.

What this has taught me is at the end of the day, keep good company. Most of all, remember to keep good company within myself! This will help in more ways than anyone can truly know!

I was originally going to end this by naming all the people I met at #SHRM18, but that would be incredibly difficult the more I thought about it. I would inevitably forget someone. I met so many wonderful people and continue to do so! However, I want to send a special shout out to Claire Petrie (Twitter: @_strclaire) for helping me get started on this journey with a simple Tweet – “We’re meeting at Elephant and Castle on W. Adams if you wanna join!” So incredibly glad I did! Thanks for the invite, Claire! And thanks to everyone who I’ve met along the way!

Message in a Poster

“Our own life has to be our message.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

white and blue cardboard box

At the beginning of my HR professional journey, I wasn’t sure what I was getting into. So, I decided to take a SHRM Essentials of HR course. At that point, I had somehow never heard of “shroom,” and barely knew HR meant human resources, but I felt like I needed to take an intensive birds eye view of the profession to see if I really enjoyed it. Thus, the Essentials course seemed like a good idea at the time. As it turns out, that class changed my professional and personal direction forever.

The teacher of the course was named John, and he had personality! The man is a born entertainer. He had a way of making HR fun! He ensured we were smiling throughout class; and when he couldn’t answer a question, he assured us that he’d “swirl on it” (while he swirled his fake glass of wine) until he figured the answer out. That class was so meaningful because John LOVED human resources. He LIVED human resources.

During one of the lessons, John challenged us to write a professional mission, vision, and values statement. I wrote a few things down, but didn’t really follow through on it because, frankly, I forgot about the challenge – the class was so PACKED with HR amazingness that it sort of just slipped my mind.

Several years later when I was named to my first HR Director position, I randomly came across the Essential of HR notebook I used as I was looking for another notebook. I turned to the mission, vision, and values challenge page. I read my handwritten note, quoting John:

“Mission is what you want to do, vision is what you want to be known for, and values are what you stand for.”

I smiled, remembered a “John-ism,” and began to “swirl” on my own mission, vision, and values. I then created a colorful poster to showcase those items, which hangs on my wall at work.

I felt so proud that I could hang that poster on my wall. It really showcased who I was, but then, something funny happened. I forgot it was there! No, not really. I see it every day, but I don’t really SEE it every day. Like most people I get caught up in the hustle and bustle of work life. I’m talking to staff, walking the building, replying to emails, or forgetting to reply to emails, returning phone calls, or forgetting to return phone calls, writing up reports, prepping for a meeting, trying to figure out new metrics to use, and so on and so on and so on.

During all that, I get angry. I get frustrated. I become human. I fail to live up to my mission, vision, and values. So, in a sense, I do forget that my poster is there, and I act in a way that doesn’t further them in my professional or personal life.

Sometimes life gets away from us, and we forget who we are. Well, that’s OK. As Thich Nhat Hanh, a Zen Buddhist master, once said so eloquently, “No mud, no lotus.”

I think that’s apropos. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to remember who we are when we’re knee deep in the muck. But we must remember that being knee deep in the muck doesn’t destroy us; it helps us be who we are! The muck should remind us that we hold a valuable message for the world, and we should post it and then live it.

Luckily, I still keep in touch with John to this day. I’ve had the pleasure of working with him, learning from him, hiring him! Of all the things I have learned from John, it’s that to be yourself, to be authentic, is the greatest message we can deliver to the world.

The Obstacle Is the Path

“That which is an impediment to action is turned to advance the action. The obstacle on the path becomes the way.” – Marcus Aurelius in his Meditations

So, here I am. After months and months of hemming and hawing, I am finally putting pen to paper – or fingers to keyboard, rather. A blog. A blog about… what exactly? A blog about nothing? Nah already been a mildly successful TV show. A blog about music? Maybe occasionally. A blog about personal life? Well, not always, but maybe sometimes. A blog about HR? Well, it is in the name!

OK, then. Another HR blog. Aren’t there 72,000 blogs on HR topics? Why are you contributing to an already well attended to niche, Mr. Paul? What do you have to offer that isn’t already being offered by countless other HR professionals?

Well, there in lies the answer! This isn’t a journey necessarily for others. This is my journey, one for myself. This journey has been an obstacle for me, and the obstacle must become the path if we are to make it through to the other side!

I love to write. I believe I can be pretty good at it – spelling errors notwithstanding. I blame English. I mean… through, though, tough? Come on now, but I digress. I love HR. I truly am excited about HR. I love that the HR profession is about bringing people together. It’s about helping people be better individually and collectively! The idea of writing about HR really excited me, but I just couldn’t force myself to do it! Why was this such an obstacle?

Well, I didn’t have enough time! Balderdash! We make time for what’s important to us. Well, I just don’t have a niche that’s interesting. Again, lame excuse! YOU ARE THE NICHE! You are interesting, have a perspective, and can make sense of nonsensical situations! Well, I’m scared! Now, we’re on to something, but still, not an excuse.

What helped me get over this last hurdle is my wife. She just started a YouTube vlog about makeup – shameless self-promotion warning: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2y7KWlKwrfMrJDXerbjhyA. It took her a long time to get over her fears. And she did it, and loves it. I am so proud of her, and she inspired me to finally do this thing.

So, that’s how this tiny little obstacle of fear has become the path. Start small. Blog because you’re afraid to do it. Then, do something else you’re afraid of. Eventually, you won’t allow fear to control you. Being afraid is human, and so is overcoming fear.

I hope you come back to this spot again, Paul. Once a week seems like a good time to visit. Thanks for the time, and keep going down your paths.

asphalt dark dawn endless
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com